Like many others I have gone into the world of online dating. Why? You may ask; because like many im not going to find a guy at a bar, 9 times out of 10 they have a one track mind. I know many are an exception to this but lets face it, you are that one in a million story; as for me and maybe others we aren’t the exception to that rule. I’ve been on the free sites and am now currently paying for the services because like many, people would probably be a little more serious about dating when they pay for it, yea thats not always the case.
Before hearing my fun filled (enter sarcastic tone of voice) experience, i’m going to say this first; this will give a somewhat understanding about me. I have gone through a lot in my life and those that know me understand what im talking about and those of you who do not, ill just say that for once in my life I am comfortable in my own skin. I have come a long way to be comfortable and accepting of my flaws and of me.
Now for the interestingly fun part (again sarcasm) of FREE dating sites. For most who have the experience in this department will understand but for those who do not, then let me tell you these sites attract creepers! Its like their hangout and us single women are the intruders of their area of worship. Because lets face it, they travel in packs, just like wolves, but not as vulgar just like a creepy human being searching for its heard (yup thats right I went there, because its true) or they have a secret access to those who are new and find a way to creep in. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some interesting people on these sites, I just didn’t know that most do not have access to a car and most rely on septa (yes, i’m serious).
For these very rare “normal” (since no one is really normal and normal can’t really be defined since we all think we are when in reality what is normal for one is not for another), people you talk to on these free sites are nice and you exchange numbers, talk on the phone or text and you feel like you have a connection, which is awesome but don’t be fooled. Ive talked to a few guys on these sites and some caught me off guard on the phone and were too demaning and alpha-male that I told them sorry but no thanks (I’ve seen how those types of relationships can end up in and im too stubborn to not have my way in certain things). Of the ones that I have met face to face and spoken with almost every day it gave me the hope and possibility that it could proceed into something greater. So why not try and persue that one. So being the person that I am, I told the other potential the truth and of course that didn’t go so well (I thought girls were needy and emotional, I was wrong, that guy was certainly manstruating or something). Now i’m not going to go in detail of what happened that the “potential” because it pisses me off too much and yes I was played like a fool to second guess myself and my niceness (one thing about me, is that I am nice and kind to EVERYONE). I have not come all this way to second guess myself and that there was something wrong with me; I am not going to waste many years of being able to put myself back together from my past and past experiences, I am awesome, im an understanding person who will go above and beyond to make others feel secure of themselves and forget about my own insecurities. People wonder why there are so many women out there who get insecure and think that its all their fault that a guy isn’t calling them back after a date or who wont answer their text or the kicker when they finally get you into bed and they have the nerve to end it because its not going to work (thats happened to me before but not with this “potential”). If they ignore you or drop you like its hot, its their own loss because they are the one’s thats missing out not you. Remember for a guy they are only allowed so much blood flow to one brain at a time (haha).
We blame ourselves and make excuses for the guy thats our fault for this in all actuality its not its theirs! Think about it! What did you do except be yourself? Theres nothing wrong with that! If a guy cannot handle you as yourself then whats the point. It comes down to the fact that we are way out of that douche nozzle’s league (yes I said nozzle and not bag, think about it because its way worse, one hangs there and the other is inserted, my point exactly) and deserve way better than that. If you want to continue to chase after them then go for it, but one thing ill tell you from this is that if you’re to busy chasing after the wrong guy, you’ll miss out on the possibilities of finding the right one. I may not habe found him yet but I know he’s out there, probably stuck in a tree somewhere but he’s there.
As for the paid servies of dating; I’ll keep you posted because so far its just emailing and nothing more.
I’ll leave you with this little bit of wisdom from my short experience. There is a difference between having time and making time, regardless of ones schedule if its something that you/they want, then they will do anything to make it happen. Its also the thrill of the chase for some guys and the whole wanting what you can’t have. But once they get you, they should still continue to prove to you that they are worth it and continue to fight for you even when they have you. If they don’t then find someone who will because you’re worth so much more than you think.
Now i’m not bitter, or a man-hater or anything, and yes it may give you that impression; but lets face it, guys are assholes. It’s like my best friend’s brother said “all guys are dicks, its just depends on how much of a dick they are”; it doesn’t get any truer than that.